Supporting your Teen in Love and Relationships
Teen relationships can be challenging, especially with the impact of social media and online interactions. Supporting a teen through their first experiences with love and heartbreak is not always easy, but there are some key pieces of advice that can help. This guide is inspired by insights from the "Sounds Like Teen Spirit" podcast hosted by Maree Glading, the founder of Evre, who recently spoke with Sheridan Eketone from The Parenting Place. Their discussion offers valuable tips for parents of teens navigating the ups and downs of relationships.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
It’s essential to create a space where a teen feels comfortable talking about their relationships. Though they may seem private or shut off, opening up to a trusted adult, whether it’s a parent, sibling, or close friend, is important. According to Sheridan, "The more connected you are to someone, the safer you feel in the world." Building that connection through small, everyday moments—whether it’s a quick chat or sharing time together—makes it easier for a teen to reach out when needed. Encouraging these open lines of communication can provide a safety net when emotional situations arise.
Set Boundaries, But Encourage Honesty
When a teen starts dating, it’s important to strike a balance between setting boundaries and encouraging honesty. Introducing a partner to the family is a healthy step—it helps build transparency and trust. It’s important for a teen to understand that parents have rules for their protection, such as curfews or expectations around privacy. While they might not always appreciate these boundaries, respecting them shows that a parent’s primary concern is their safety and well-being. Keeping an honest dialogue open ensures that trust remains strong.
Breakups Will Happen—Support Is Key
Breakups are an inevitable part of growing up, and they can feel devastating. Sheridan wisely points out that "with big love comes big sadness," and this is especially true for a teen experiencing their first heartbreak. When dealing with a breakup, it’s important to avoid rushing them to "move on" or offering clichéd advice like "there are plenty of fish in the sea." Instead, offering a listening ear and letting them take the time they need to heal is crucial. Encouraging self-care, such as spending time with friends or indulging in activities they enjoy, can help them process the emotions and come to terms with the situation.
Love Languages Matter
Love languages are an essential concept for building strong relationships. Everyone expresses and receives love in different ways—whether through words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Understanding one’s love language, and that of a partner, can help ensure that both people feel valued and understood. Encouraging a teen to talk about their love language with their partner can improve communication and foster a deeper connection. Recognizing these needs is essential for a healthy and balanced relationship.
Social Media After a Breakup—A Digital Detox Is Important
Social media can be a double-edged sword, especially after a breakup. Seeing an ex on social media can stir up painful emotions and make it harder to heal. One piece of advice is to encourage a teen to unfollow or mute an ex after the breakup. It’s not about being petty but about protecting mental health. Taking a break from posting and refraining from sharing every detail of the breakup online can make the process of moving on easier. Keeping distance from social media while navigating a breakup can provide necessary space for healing.
The Car Can Be the Best Place for Honest Conversations
Sometimes, the most meaningful conversations happen during simple, everyday moments. A drive in the car, for example, can provide a comfortable, pressure-free environment for a teen to open up. There’s no eye contact, no intense face-to-face interaction—just a relaxed, casual space to chat. It’s during these moments that a teen may feel most at ease talking about relationships, friendships, or other personal matters. Encouraging those moments of connection can lead to deeper conversations.
Let Them Lead, but Be There for Support
At the end of the day, relationships are a learning experience. While parents should provide guidance and support, it’s important to allow teens to navigate their relationships on their own, learning from their mistakes and successes. Being there for them—offering advice when they ask for it, providing a listening ear when they need one, and supporting them through emotional highs and lows—is key. Relationships are a natural part of growing up, and having a supportive parent to lean on can make all the difference as a teen learns, grows, and experiences the complexities of love.
